Every child is a blessing. No matter when it happens, how it happens, why it happens. There is a reason and its a good one. My daughters have molded me into the person I am today. Never in a million years did I think I would be sitting here with two precious daughters to call my own.
When Lydia was born things went "as planned" and even though I was a first time mom and had the normal "is my child eating enough" worries, things were "normal". (I even remember waking up the morning after she was born and being so excited that she was still alive... YAY! we kept her alive for 24 hours! LOL)
Lydia was pretty much "on time" and like clock work, she and my body knew exactly what to do. 40 weeks and 3 days my water broke and a few hours later there was a baby here.
With Leonora things were a bit different. I waited for what seemed like forever for my body to kick in and for her to make her arrival. I remember talking to Kim, our midwife, about having a weird feeling. I attributed it to knowing people that had bad things happen or over analyzing things. Hind sight being 20/20 I think it was mother's intuition. 41 weeks and 6 days... hours short of 42 weeks, I asked Kim to break my water so we could get this show on the road. Leonora was born within a couple hours and I thought, "Awesome! I cut my time down. This is normal. Things are great." Until she came out looking like a 35 week old baby. There was NO way I was that early. NO way! We even took days away to try to figure out how she could look so young. I remember telling my mom that we were going to be taking her to the hospital hours before we had ever even thought it was a need. Something just wasn't right.
In a years time she has brought so much light into our lives. I've learned to pay more attention to our days and love them a little more. Her beginning was rocky. Very rocky. And I wasn't ever sure if she was going to make it to the next day. Learning this doesn't make all my days better. I still get irritated and upset and do regular human things that I wish I didn't do. But it makes me realize that all of this could be gone in a flash.
I've learned a lot of medical procedures that I didn't even know existed. Never in a million year would I have thought that I would be administering shots every day. It was out of my realm of thinking.
I've learned, through the eyes of me 2 1/2 year old, how to be more compassionate and understanding. Lydia has always had a sweet, loving spirit. Since her sister was born she has become even sweeter and even more understanding. I don't know how someone can be as sweet as she is. There isn't a 30 min span that Lydia isn't loving on her sister. It truly amazes me. When we were in the hospital last year I was always worried about Lydia. I knew she would be gentle enough and I knew she would help take care of her sister. But I never wanted her to be afraid. I wanted her to be included in Leonora's medical process. And boy is she ever! She is so proud of her sister. She holds her leg every night when its time for Leonora's shot. She cheers her on and claps for her after Leonora takes her medicine. She lets everyone know to "be easy" with her sister and that she has a tube in her belly.
How can I not learn so much from these littles? I'm amazed by them everyday!
Leonora has such a fiery spirit about her. I know shes a fighter and quite frankly I have my work cut out for me with her. Shes already a little spit fire. But shes amazing. I'm blessed to have her. I'm blessed to have both of my girls!
Happy 1st birthday my sweet Leonora Amelia Mae. My little LAMB number 2! You are my wonder!
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